It is indeed a GOODbye. But even the best goodbyes are hard. Chasing your dreams and making the world your oyster does not come without sacrifice. I've been blessed with such beautiful people that I've gotten to share my journey with and I wouldn't have it any other way. But now comes the hard part.
In case you don't know, I am leaving. I've packed my life into a backpack and one suitcase and have set out on an adventure that will take me to Germany for an entire year. What does that mean exactly? I'm not sure myself. But that's the beauty of it. Great things are to come, even if I'm not 100% sure of what they are.
Leaving isn't easy. The comfort zone's borders are hard to cross by design. I wish I could've had one more week, one more day, even one more hour to spend with those I cherish the most and in those "one mores" I'd find a forever. But, ambition can be a cruel mistress. Happy & sad, I write this, trying to conjure a word that describes a feeling more intense than bittersweet, desperately wracking my brain for something to describe the lava lamp of emotions I harbor inside me.
I have never been one to be overemotional. Few have ever seen me cry (despite my ability to fake it), but I can't help but feel unsure of myself and nervous. Yet despite having much to learn in this life, one thing I have come to know is that when my stomach has traveled to my throat and butterflies have moved in, I know that I am crossing that border out of my comfort zone.
Everyone that has contributed to my journey thus far, no matter how big or small, no matter if our fire still burns bright or if we've drifted apart, I say thank you. I am a firm believer that people come into our lives and leave behind what they do and we are forever changed. In other words, we are simply mosaics, each piece a memory of those we've come to know. We are shaped by our environments and I will sorely miss those that frequented mine.
Recently, I got my first tattoo. I've wanted one for as long as I can remember, but I could never settle on what design I wanted. On top of that, it was my first one, and you never forget your first. It was this moment in my life, the moment I feel at the cusp of something truly transformational, that I FINALLY mustered the courage go and get it done. My passion for exploration and wandering is no secret, but as my mom always tells me, "Don't forget where you come from". It is my hope that whenever I feel insecure, lost or alone, I can look at my arm and remember the village of loved ones I have at home and know that I am never really alone.
So with that, I must go.